🍗🐓🐣 It’s that time again, ladies and gentlemen! 🐣🐓🍗
When I finished up my time in South East Asia I brought to you a ranking for the region’s examples of the most prolific global fried chicken franchise. We journeyed through jungles, over mountains, and into dense metropoleis to discover the secrets of flavorful spices and chicken fat. It was an epic quest to make my main man Colonel Sanders proud and see the best of what the world has to offer in terms of fried chicken.
This time I traveled through Europe, a frozen hellscape in comparison to the lush tropical environment of SEA. While the two regions couldn’t be more different in terms of climate, they do both share a culinary niche that can only be filled by the 11 Herbs and Spices. Sitting in Heidelberg and coming down from the experience of German New Years, my position was clear: I must not fail in my oath to taste an example of the KFC every nation I visit has to offer. While before I visited six different nations, here in Europe (not including England) I visited seven. I only stayed in Europe for around two months, and I only stayed in some of those nations for three or four days. This means I’ve been eating KFC quite often during my time on the continent! Almost often enough to be sick of the stuff…
Almost!
Come with me, once again, as I rank my experience at KFC. Herbs and Spices, ASSEEEEEMBLLLLLE!!!!!
1. Germany
The German KFC I recall having had fairly early on in my time hanging out in the country. Perhaps a week into the new year? I didn’t know when I would be leaving at that point so I figured I might as well get the meal in incase I decided to leave within a week or so. The month or so delay between this meal and the next was perfect.
You’ll notice that I was given mashed potatoes and gravy! Something that hadn’t happened since Malaysia. I was neither offered nor did I see the choice on any of the menus in SEA, so this was a nice thing to come along as a side item. It came with fries which is super weird – starch with fried starch – but I just liked to be eating it. Three pieces of chicken was the minimum number of pieces of chicken allowed for a meal here, and the entire thing was rather expensive, something like 9 Euro (~$10). Eating through the meal, I could tell absolutely zero difference between this and what I recall of getting in the states. Nothing about it seemed distinct to me whatsoever. So at the very least, German KFC stands on par with American.
2. Austria
Austria and Germany are brother nations, both born out of German origins, but each with a very distinct history; as well as a distinct chicken menu. Austria began what I call the ‘Wings’ part of the quest. From here on out every meal in Europe (save one) will include wings as an integral part of their basic meal. They don’t cost anything extra. This 2 pieces of chicken + 3 wings + fries + drink was something like $7.
Here in Austria, they seemed to mix things around a bit. The full pieces of chicken were extra crispy – know that I’m asking for original recipe everywhere I go at this point in the quest – while the wings took on a strange middle ground between the original skin and extra crispy. That is to say, the wings were less crispy than you’d normally expect to eat from KFC. Nothing was spicy, not even the wings which typically have a touch of heat. It reminds me how everyone in China used to be shocked I could eat anything from Sichuan because “white people can’t do spicy.” And overall I would say the flavor was… less. Still there, but not all of the 11 herbs and spices seemed present. So, about what you’d expect from however they prepare extra crispy back home in the states. As the first KFC I had on my way towards the Black Sea it left something to be desired. Not bad, but not the best out of the gate.
3. Slovakia
This was where the portions began to get gratuitous! Here in Slovakia – Bratislava specifically – this was the basic meal available. 2 pieces of chicken + 3 wings + 2 pockets of fries + drink. I recall spending some time staring at the menu looking for alternatives because it seemed so large, but short of buying everything a-la-cart for not much cheaper there wasn’t another option. It came to around $5.50-$6. So I sat down with my meal staring out at the Most SNP – a landmark I didn’t mention in my previous article – and munched on some KFC inside the mall.
And this meal had a really strange effect on me. If you can’t see, the regular chicken lacks any skin. The naked breast is spiced and then fried like that. The wings have skin as well as a return to the classic heat I expect out of KFC breaded wings, but not the regular chicken. Before I bit into the thing I expected to dislike it but in actuality the meal reminded me heavily of the KFC of my youth in the states, which is weird because the skin was always the best part of the meal when I was a kid. Anyone who says KFC hasn’t changed in the last fifteen years is wrong. The meat was moist but not greasy, all the herbs and spices were present even if fried directly to the meat. And while I say the wings had that classic heat I mean it: they tasted exactly how I remember my first bite of a KFC breaded wing back at the KFC/A&W on 481 did – as weird as it may seem, that is a surprisingly strong memory I have. I never expected a nostalgia trip in Slovakia, but KFC does magical things.
“Funny” side story. Once I finished the meal I walked across that bridge to where I thought my bus was. I was told I was at the wrong spot with only 16 mins to get 2kms (1.25 miles) to where my bus would actually show up. So I ran that distance with all of my luggage on me, the equivalent of about 20kg (45lb), with two minutes to spare. Objectively, it’s impressive, especially when I had 2 pieces of chicken + 3 wings + 2 pockets of fries + drink sitting in my gut.
4. Hungary
Literally two days later I was back at KFC in the Budapest downtown. I thought I was going to end up staying in Hungary longer than I did so I figured I’d get it in early so I had longer to enjoy local cuisines. The space between the two meals wasn’t enough for full enjoyment, I came to find. This didn’t impact my judging of the meal, but it did provide me valuable intel on how long I need between fried chicken meals. The tasting wasn’t impacted, only my body’s willingness to process the stuff. And it was the most insane portion-wise up to this point! 2 pieces of chicken + 5 wings + fries + drink. One of those pieces was that annoying one we all hate to get that’s basically just two unprocessed wings fused, meaning it was more like 7 wings all to myself. Came out to be about the same price as the Slovakian KFC, maybe even cheaper.
Unfortunately, this meal was very similar to the Slovakian one, just a bit worse. Again, no skin on the regular chicken, and it was much greasier for regular chicken and wings both. The wings had less of a kick than you’d expect, making them like weakly breaded extra crispy. Of the regular chicken, I definitely tasted the herbs and spices, but the grease being in there the way it was they seemed really muted for some reason. I powered through the meal if I’m honest. I didn’t hate it but by the time I finished the meal my whole hand, from fingertip to wrist, was covered in grease; my hand fumbled and slipped at the bathroom handle as I tried to get in for a wash at the end. I thought I’d be thrilled having this much chicken thrown at me but being forced to swallow what seemed like 8oz of grease ruined it.
5. Serbia
Serbia‘s KFC came almost a week later which was enough time for my tastes to crave that chicken goodness at full force once again! Here you got yourself the basic menu item meal again. That includes a pocket of fries, a soft drink, five wings, and two chicken legs. Let me say that again: two chicken legs. I checked, three times, including snooping on all the tables in the rest of the restaurant to see if they had anything but chicken legs as their basic chicken.
Let me be clear, any KFC that does this is wrong. Just plain wrong.
Yes, of course, sure, we all enjoy a chicken leg from time to time, it’s a nice little treat to fit in between our breasts and our thighs when we want something lighter. I’ll even admit that the leg meat is probably the most tender, readily falling off the bone the easiest. But come on. If you ordered a 12 piece bucket and they said you could either have mostly legs or wait for the most recent batch to be done, you would choose to wait. If you ordered a bucket and they handed you one full of 12 legs you would demand to speak with the manager. When you order a bucket, can you really tell me legs aren’t the most numerous remaining type of piece when you cram the leftovers in the fridge?
These legs weren’t even good! I could forgive this abominable practice if the legs blew my socks off, but NO! They were dry. The skin was like leather and a single bite lead to “skin chips” falling off and littering the tray! The meat was rubbery with about as much flavor as already chewed bubblegum. You would think it being dry would mean it was greaseless, that the pockets between the silicone muscle fibers would hold nothing but air but NO! They were filled with glistening chicken fat! It was like licking the bottom of your 12 piece bucket once all the chicken was gone. It was horrible!
The wings were okay. A little better than the Hungarian wings only because they held less fat. This meal also cost nearly as much as Austria’s.
6. Macedonia
For Macedonia I broke a little bit. Normally I get a basic meal which is generally a two/three pice and whatever else they throw onto that. In the states that formula is typically two pieces of chicken, a side or two and a drink. Here in Europe it’s been slightly different, as you have seen, and in Macedonia I had the option to get something along the lines of your basic meal formula. I got a single thigh of the original recipe, fries, a drink, and some monstrous sandwich. Came out to be just under $5. I did this specifically to get a little variety in my KFC because I was tired of getting, relatively, the same thing over and over again. Boy, do I regret that decision to do something different.
The sandwich was a bun slathered in mixed ketchup and mayo, then shredded lettuce, then a ton of pickles just kind of thrown on, then three chicken strips in a row next to each other, followed by a single slice of kraft, and the topper bun. I didn’t like it. But in fairness, it won’t have any bearing on my opinion of Macedonian KFC or it’s place in this ranking. I just wanted to provide a parable as to why, sometimes, change is not always better.
That thigh, though! Yum. It had the perfect balance of flavor, showcasing the true strength of each and every one of those 11 herbs and spices. The spices were baked into a masterfully fried skin that was both crunchy and flexible. The meat was tender and moist, pulling away from the bone and filling my togue with flavor with each successive bite. My fingers were dry after a single, very satisfying lick for each once the meal was over.
7. Bulgaria
So I got stuck in Bulgaria for about a week, and that gave me plenty of time to get my KFC craving out of the way. Which means I did it on my second day there. I got 2 pieces of chicken + 3 wings + gravy and mash + drink. That’s my finger in the corner. It was so special, the lady actually asked me if I wanted potatoes or fries! No one has ever asked me that prior to this! The first time I was asked for what I wanted as my side. It was mitigated a bit by the fact that this meal only had the one side and came out to around $6.50, but I still enjoyed being asked.
The original recipe pieces were pretty average. By that I mean that, if I were to covert all of the other original recipe pieces in this article into a numerical number, add those numbers up, and then divide by 6, you could take the resulting number and reverse the chicken > math process and get these pieces. Almost like they were focus-tested. Fairly unforgettable, but hitting all the marks. The wings were exactly like Austria’s. The mashed potatoes were really good. Rich and creamy, with the proper amount of meaty goodness present in the gravy.
Final Result
So how do these seven chicken-bearing countries fare against one another? The final result:
- Slovakia
- Macedonia
- Germany
- Hungary
- Bulgaria
- Austria
- Serbia
Slovakia takes the number one spot for baking unexpected nostalgia right into their chicken. Couple that with the insane portion size of 2 pieces of chicken, 5 wings, two pockets of fries, and a drink, then factor in the cholesterol savings from lack of skin on the chicken and you got yourself a fantastic meal. Macedonia’s original recipe chicken was the better of the two main entree items if I’m honest, but a meal is not made only by the entree.
Germany takes spot three for nailing the American classic. Unfortunately, a perfect copy will always pale in comparison to its blueprint, and lacking originality has never won a contest of comparison.
Spots four through six all sort of end up on even ground. They are correctly placed in that lineup, of that I have no doubt. But the difference in quality is so minuscule I would be hard-pressed to quantify it in detail. Hungary takes first because, despite the gratuitous grease, the volume of food for the price outmatched Bulgaria’s lack of second side and unforgettable entree. As for Austria, I clearly recall the disappointment from that meal.
Serbia is dead last. It is the worst piece of chicken I’ve had at KFC, second only to the grease ball I tried in Probolinggo in Indonesia.
WORLD RANKINGS
Oh but we ain’t stopping there ladies and gentlemen! We’re getting reckless now. With the latest in chicken technology, we are proud to present to you a full ranking of the world’s KFC based on the experiences gathered from The Journey and before. Where does your home country fall on the list? The current world rankings:
- Malaysia
- Thailand
- Vietnam
- USA
- Myanmar
- Slovakia
- Macedonia
- UK
- Germany
- China
- Singapore
- Hungary
- Bulgaria
- Indonesia
- Austria
- Cambodia
- Serbia
Tune in again next time for all that beautiful KFC goodness! Hopefully by then there will be more KFC memes online, or at least ones that are less racist.
