Shanghai, Slowly (AKA, Old Man Yells at Cloud)

Change is an insidious assailant, and familiarity its prey.

On October 14^th, 2016, I first stepped off a plane for what was meant to be a one-year excursion to The Middle Kingdom and the city of Shanghai. At the time I was excited for this new and alien experience. My whole life had been filled with fascination regarding this country. With its unique and elaborate history stretching over thousands of years, how could I not have found an early love for this place I’d never been? In addition, I was determined to find out for myself whether the American propaganda fed me my whole life about the “evil communists” had any shed of truth to it or not.

What followed were an intense three years. I saw over 30 cities. Became a real teacher, and not just a tourist. Visited temples of all varieties. Made dozens of very strong friends. Saw places most would consider mundane, but to me held great significance in showing me who lived there. Partied like I never imagined. Fell in love deeper than I ever thought possible.

Shanghai was a magical place beyond my wildest dreams. For someone from a small town of 2000ish people, this megalopolis of sometimes 32 million was overwhelming. It taught me more about myself than any other experience I’ve ever had.

September 2019 was the last time I’d visited before the pandemic. I stopped to see a partner I still saw a future with before heading off on what was supposed to only be a six-month trip. The following four years are what this blog depicts. I’ve traveled the world in that time and been lucky enough to experience more than most people will ever do with their lives. Through it all, however, I never stopped trying to return to China. A passionate attempt to recreate the wonder this country gifted me in my late 20s.

On August 5^th, 2023, I finally returned to the city that forged some of the best parts of who I am. I sit here now at the end of their October holiday – a week-long celebration of the country and mooncakes – having stayed in that city to unwind and… it’s changed.

I’ve been in Shanghai for a little over two months now and the experience has been an overwhelmingly bittersweet one. Nothing has been outright bad, but the best life had to offer me from before seems conspicuously absent. I’ve spent hours pondering why this might be the case, whether it’s the city or me that changed. Something has changed, and the familiarity I carried with me over four years has disappeared.

This October holiday has given me time to reflect on this while also exploring those places that gave me those original feelings that ultimately dragged me back. Many of the photos so far have depicted those places. But one place in particular exemplified these feelings in my trip to visit. That would be Dishui Lake.

Shanghai has many subway lines, and all of them pretty good. Line 16 stretches from nearby Lujiazui about 50km down to a place called Dishui Lake, a man-made lake at the edge of the ocean. It opened in the summer before I arrived in Shanghai, and it was one of the first places I visited here when I originally moved. To say I loved the area is an understatement. I brought everyone important to me down to this area, where an almost post-apocalyptic vibe was created by just how deserted this recently built-up area was. Each time going there I always felt alone with the most spectacular scenery, with all the modern amenities accessible if I were willing to walk a bit.

One of the biggest reasons for that was the area’s Maritime Museum. I go to every maritime museum I can whenever I travel, and this one is the sole reasons for that. I compare every single maritime museum to my original experience with this one. Between 2016 and 2019 I think I went and visited at least 5 times, but probably more.

I considered going inside, but my god was Dishui Lake crowded. I mean, it was a national holiday, but even so, the amount of people simply floored me. I couldn’t go anywhere without being surrounded by people, a stark contrast to any other times I experienced it before. What’s more, in the past I could always walk up to the ticket counter at the museum and simply buy on the spot. Now it would appear the area and the Maritime Museum specifically are so busy you need to buy tickets in advance. Sadly, I couldn’t figure out the timing or payment to get it to work.

The whole area has become inundated with tourists. Where before you might find one noodle shop with two dedicated guests partaking, now there are dozens of snack carts constantly trading cash for food. Whereas there were canals surrounded by weeds and wildlife before, now the parks are curated and filled with day-tents. The construction equipment was here before, but in the past it sat more or less silent whereas now it whirs every moment. Whereas previously there were monolithic skyscrapers sitting empty, now there’s an entire international section that looks more modern than anything in downtown Shanghai.

One of my favorite spots happened to be the equivalent of lands-end. Shanghai curves slightly around here on the map (around Dishui Lake, in a way), and back in the day Holiday Inn built a hotel here for weekend getaways; me, a former girlfriend, and two previously close friends nearly stayed the night once upon a time. There’s a large mesh wale statue, and once a cement fence you could hop over to get close to the sea; me and some still-close friends nearly got caught in the ocean with a rapidly approaching high-tide.

Well, now Holiday Inn is simply “Hotel,” and water barely flows from their faucets. The coast is harder to access because they’ve put up more sea barriers. And the previous cement barrier has an actual fence atop it to stop anyone from getting to the sea. That same fence has been ripped open by the hordes that never previously existed seeking the ocean.

It is important to note that I am not bitter about this change. Change is inevitable. It happens. Dishui Lake gave me a lot of fanciful memories, and even back when those were made I envisioned this place would one day become huge. I’m glad that it did! I got my time to enjoy this place in the most perfect way I probably could. If this is what the people who visit now want, and if it helps those who came before thrive, I couldn’t be happier for them.

But it is different. It has changed. The place I once adored now relegated to nothing more than a memory. A place inaccessible, locked behind the impenetrable barrier that is time. Much of Shanghai seems to have become like this. The magic I’d grown accustomed to previously and held on to for four years now of a different flavor.

It’s just that, though. A different flavor. It helps me recall an important lesson I learned in South Korea, where I was too frequently claiming “A place is very similar to B place I’ve been,” and decided I needed to work harder to see the places I visited as unique new experiences. The Shanghai I knew is gone, warped by the many trials of The Pandemic that infected us all. Shanghai, though, is not gone and I mustn’t allow my yearning for the past to interfere with what the city is now. It is merely another new place to explore.

Change is an insidious assailant, and familiarity its prey. If you’re around for it, it leeches from you slowly and you hardly notice. If you’re away you’ll notice all the havoc it inflicts, but much too late to savor the last of what you came to love.

So, it’s true. The majority of my familiarity with this city has been ravaged by the changes defining it and myself. Who wants to relive the exact same things over again, though? It’s still early, and my contract goes for two years. Here’s hoping this Shanghai can live up to that Shanghai. Optimism, and a desire to journey through life will serve me well. I’ll be sure to let you know through this blog.