While it’s true that a lot of my energy in South Korea was wasted on an eternal gaze toward a future longing to find satisfaction from external sources, the experience wasn’t all bad. There were those in my life who could ground me in the present, who helped me appreciate when and where I was in order to appreciate it more fully. You’ve met some of them in the Playgroup of Destiny, who preoccupied my every weekend through games. And while I have in the past gripped about the job I had at Twin.kle, there existed those few at the job who made it one worth staying through, and who even stole me away from the job at the end of the week or on weekend excursions to explore the country.
I should preface this by saying not everyone who graced my life will be discussed here. There were good people I interacted with – though more on a professional level – and those who came by from time to time or started out as a constant presence but over time wandered off onto their own paths of life. I hold nothing against either of these groups, and in fact appreciate the fact they were around at all. Those who appear here, though, are the ones whose presence and positive influence were essentially constant, and who I’d beyond a doubt seek out if ever I find myself nearby again. These are the ones who I met every Wednesday for lunch, or every Friday for chicken and beer. These are their stories.
Samuel Sam Han (Zheng?)
The only person in management I found myself with a consistently positive disposition toward. Sam started out as merely a “Head Fiction Teacher in Training (off the record)” when I arrived at Twinkle. He always went out of his way, though, to help however he could if he happened to have an opinion on it. Half the center ran off his willingness to do anything and everything required to such an extent that I frequently considered it exploitative. That’s how he liked it, though, and it did get him to his goal by the time I left. An official Head Fiction Teacher!
Sam was one of the first people I connected with. He was around and driving across country when a group of us went to Seoraksan. He was happy to satiate my curiosity surrounding Korean history and customs all throughout my time there. He and I forged a somewhat secret alliance early on in which opinions and possibilities on changes at the center were discussed as we shared a lot of ideas there. He was oddly encouraging early on that I flirt with certain coworkers? And he frequently fulfilled the role so few with any power at that company actively tried to, that of a communicator earnestly mentioning the needs of both students and staff who were affected by the decisions being made.
Sam was a true friend beyond just his role as a superior at work, something he reiterated many times. When communications ultimately broke down early on between me and the person who was supposed to be my manager, he compassionately listened over chicken and beer before willingly stepping into that role at work. He’d always listen to our complaints over this or that, explain the reasoning behind the asininity at work they willfully held from us, and lay out methods for us to combat the things we were so unhappy about while pushing where he could. And while, perhaps, he began to drink the corporate koolaid a little more heavily by the time I left, he still made it a point to separate work demands from his relationships with us. He told me often he was a friend, and I never doubted that.
Also he is of Korean descent, lived a lot of his life around Chicago, and wants me to tell you he is a monk. He is not, dear readers, an actual monk.
Cassandra
I’m going in order of who I made what connections with and when (in case ya’ll are reading and wondering why you aren’t this or that number), and the next on that list is Cassandra. I still remember the first moment I met her, in fact – sitting in the chair in the room that would become mine, quietly “training” by watching an online class lesson. She didn’t say much but was in every way polite during all our interactions. It took quite a long time for me to figure out who she was and how best to interact with her, but each new interaction leading to a note was a joy from then onward.
Cassandra also joined us on our trip out to Seoraksan, in which she shared so much of herself and her interests with the others there. It was revealed, to my immense joy, that she was very fitness focused and pushed many of us to ascend the mountain without reservation. Her encouragement was extremely welcomed, and being treated to it as my time in Korea went on – through bike rides, hikes, or organized badminton in which she assaulted me no less than 3 times in a single night with the shuttlecocks – kept me active and happy. We frequently collaborated as teachers as we shared quite a few classes, and the difference in our passions toward the job (she attracted toward the challenge of teaching children to be students, I attracted toward the goal of teaching students what they need to know) helped me be a better educator. While she wasn’t always as present as some of the others who appear in this article, her presence was always immensely appreciated, being missed when she had other plans to fulfill.
Cassandra is also mighty religious. An early memory of her involves me discovering her lingering at the center at 11pm online doing “Bible Study.” It was a very important key to my understanding of who she was. Some people become distrustful when discovering this sort of information, to the point that I have on more than one occasion defended her (and others I know) character for being so down with JC, but I always found it very inspiring. Passion is an amazing thing in any person, and her passion for her faith endeared me strongly toward her. She very kindly brought me to her church for Easter, taught me about orthodoxy in the Korean Catholic Church, and may be the only person in South Korea who has seen me sobbing because of it. Her faith never dominated our friendship, and it was nice to better understand her mindset in this way; and of course debate theology, like whether Jesus or Buddha would win in a cage match.
Also I am told she is quite the heartthrob with men dying at her feet on a daily basis. I was never made prey to that, but I was always happier when she was around. She is also of Korean descent, grew up in the GTA (Toronto), and is allegedly of the Korean royal bloodline. Cassandra, as I was oft to say, was an angel.
Rachel
Then comes Rachel, a hell of a person. An awfully complex person, too – in a good way! Full of spunk and mirth, full of passion and fury, and so frequently in search of a good time. Some of the best times this group had were facilitated by her despite a self-designation as an anti-social introvert. It took us some time to connect, though the reasons behind that aren’t entirely clear in my mind. As I’ve said, I went through many dark times while in Korea, and I believe she on-boarded right around the beginning of one, when I had become fully disillusioned by the job and my life, nearly making my way out of there. Regardless of lost time, finally connecting allowed for quite a bit of memories my mind lingers on from time to time.
Rachel, to be poetic in an uninspiring manner, is like fire and ice. She could be cheerful and engaging one minute, but if crossed would rightfully shift and engage the perpetrator in the manner that they deserved. It wasn’t all immediate, and she could compartmentalize events and stay cheerful outside of work when moments before she was smoldering at the dismissive idiocy dealt with while on the clock. She would vent, frequently, but then most of us who weren’t a part of the “inner circle” would. She would feel what she felt and she would let you know it even if it wasn’t with words. Some people might find that off-putting, but I’ve never been one to begrudge those who are blunt and honest about their feelings; I find it refreshing to be informed. It was also extraordinarily comforting to know there were those just as annoyed at our company as I. On more than one occasion she let into management at our center over mistreatment, and I was never anything less than happy to know someone was talking back.
While Rachel wasn’t around by the time we headed off to Seoraksan, she made up for it in multiple other events I couldn’t have made it through my time there without. Despite not being the biggest fan of chicken and beer, she would nearly always be ready to join and spend literal hours shooting the shit or joking as we slowly ate our fill and intoxicated ourselves; she often felt like a driving force behind the after-hours time we’d spend in the gazebos nearby. We lived in the same building, so we often walked back together – for me, who feels most alone when drunk and without a companion, this was priceless. We watched the World Cup on her and Cassandra’s insistence, she and I drank wine over trivia at Christmas, and we enjoyed coffee surrounded by fog and a three-time run-through of a one-hour playlist wondering whether we’d be able to make work on Monday when we all took a trip to Ijakdo. We were quite comfortable with each other by the time I left, and it was the mature sort of friendship I wish I had more of in my life at this age.
Also she is British (“…more celtic than anglo-saxon!”). Cover her in woad and you’ve got a modern approximation of Boudicca. She has her masters and is quite proud of that fact. She’s lived in Japan but quite likes her life in Korea. She does, in all honesty though, deserve more than what Twinkle can offer her.
Cathal
We then finally come to the Irishman. No, not like you (or I) Americans are Irish; he would tease you mercilessly for any sort of comparison. A true bred Irishman hailing from the area around Sligo, I couldn’t possibly start describing him without mentioning his origins. For better or for worse, it was a large part of how we or others I knew would identify him. “How’s the craic,” or even what ‘craic’ means can be attributed almost solely to him. Someone who “doesn’t take anything seriously,” he was often the origins of the good bit of craic that would spawn from the gathering of this group.
The man known as Cathal came in merely 7 months prior to my departure from the company. In all honesty, I didn’t like him. I can’t fully explain the reason. Again, I believe I was in an emotional malaise with the holidays around. But he lived in China too, they would say! All the worse, I thought, as my vain attempts to define myself in Korea in some way caused me to cling to my former residency of my favorite country; he made me feel less unique. But he likes fantasy too, they would then follow up. But does he know the deep magic held within The Cosmere?! No true fan! (Turns out he does, and so much more than I). The worst part, from my perspective, was his buddy-buddy demeanor toward our manager early on. They were working hard to control certain narratives at the time, and Cathal was a project he wanted to put special interest in. All in all, though, the perspective was entirely my fault as in the beginning I simply didn’t give the man a chance.
By the time I left South Korea, however, Cathal was one of the favorite friends I’d made in my entire time there. I told him as much when I left and hope he took it to heart as much as I intended. Our shared Chinese experience provided quite the springboard for discussion! Our mutual love of fantasy gave me a trusted source of feedback (the first in perhaps a decade) over my own writing. Beyond that, he’s just good fun. Hilarious, even. It’s the sort of blithe observations over the mundane or peculiar that really engages my funny bone. At chicken and beer, on Ijakdo, or anywhere else even he could keep me in stitches. He’s always laughing along himself, which helps. He got along famously with Rachel to the point we all compared them to brother and sister. He let me store my stuff at his place while I wandered around the country, even letting me crash there on more than one occasion. We saw movies together once I’d left the job. And of all those mentioned in the article, he’s the one I’ve been able to remain the most seamlessly connected. He’s a true friend that I simply met too late to have set a better tone for my time in country.
Also he can read blindingly fast, owns a camp/house atop a hill that always sounded like an acropolis to me, and loves history. He’s fond of his family and I do hope he gets the time with them that he desires before making his way to whatever journey he wants long term.
To these few!
That concludes our presentation of those who kept me sane at Twin.kle. I really disliked that job for too many reasons to list; they could really fill an entire long-form article. As I’ve moved on, however, back to my life in Shanghai and all the good this place has to offer, I’ve come to the decision it’s best left in the past. I could spend so much time focusing on that which makes or made me unhappy – just as I did in Seoul – or I could look around me and take stock of the things that make me truly happy. Things like those who pulled me from forlorn mindset in the moments between the bleak.
I hope to see all of these people again. I miss them dearly. They will always be welcomed in Shanghai where I’ll have my wallet ready to buy them a meal and a couch on which they can crash. Whether they find the time or the urge to see me is entirely up to fate. If it never happens then it was never meant to be. But at least there will always be the cheerful memories they unwittingly bestowed upon someone who needed it more than I had ever let them know.
