A few months back I alluded to having written a song. With the help of Kyle, Rron, Jon, and Olti I was able to accomplish that feat. Our mugs are below!
Now, I don’t have any training when it comes to music creation. I was in Band years ago when I was in highschool, but I never gave it much effort. Recently having discovered Sparks, I actually got a strong itch to create music. I regularly compose tunes in my head and can be seen absentmindedly drumming away or whistling when in a good mood. But even before that, in Pristina, Kosovo in 2020, in a shower as I cleaned up for the day, I sang out a little tune.
The subject of said song is to the left. That’s an ex-girlfriend who goes by the name Lili. Or at least, she did. We haven’t spoken since I left Kosovo. Haven’t seen each other since November 2019. Haven’t dated since the summer of 2019. The details are complicated, murky, and in all honesty not worth going into at the moment. Suffice it to say, once upon a time she was my forever girl. I worked very hard on that relationship, and a significant amount of my actions between 2018 and 2021 were in some way influenced by her having been present in my life.
The reason that’s important is the fact that she was the subject of my song. We finished our relationship in the early days of December 2019 while I was in Myanmar. In said conversation, I laid out that we could reevaluate in a year and see what we wanted to do. Well, a year passed, I was taking Chinese online, and we got in touch again. Would you believe that after a year and a half of traveling and being on opposite sides of the globe, something still fluttered in our hearts.
Now I’m not proud of the interactions or my attempts to rekindle anything. They weren’t the most respectable course based on the situation at that time. I’d take them back if I could. But one of the coolest things that came out of it was the song Kyle, Rron, Jon, and Olti helped me write.
Lili Love
Be gentle. Be kind. I’m proud of this, but on its own it’s really not that good. What do you expect out of 4 hours of work in a literal cement box in a parking garage with rented portable audio equipment. Honestly, I’m shocked it came out as good as it did! Other than me and Kyle, no one in that room had ever read the notes or heard the lyrics before stepping inside.
Life is long and filled with never ending chances to create memories. Some memories are good. Some memories are bad. I’d be lying if I said that I never think of Lili or the times we spent together. Love is a powerful thing, and for better or for worse, I’m the sort of person who believes when someone falls in love they never truly fall out of it. You just become wiser, and the reasons behind why a coupling doesn’t work might gain strength over the passion bleeding from your heart.
From time to time, it’s true, I think about this song and the reasons behind why I made it. And yes, of course, from time to time I think about Lili and the good times we had together with a smile. From time to time, indeed, I miss who I was when the person she was was my forever girl. I miss her and what we had.
And then, inevitably, I remember that life moves on and return from memory lane. Life is like that. Hopefully the seeds of the past can inspire growth in the future.